IN this latest Football Nostalgia blog, I describe the most bizarre press box incidents I have encountered in my lifetime of reporting on football matches…
SLIGO SHENANIGANS
A near fatal situation unfolded when I visited Sligo Rovers FC in the League of Ireland.
Firstly, I should say that I love travelling around the Emerald Isle for football. I was born in Dublin, I have always held an Irish passport and all my family on my mother’s side are Irish.
Anyway, it was back on 26th June 2006 when I visited The Showgrounds stadium. Sligo beat Derry City 3-1 before an attendance of 1,392.
I watched the game from the press box at the back of the main stand. I sat next to a Sligo club official who was diligently making public address announcements.
During the half-time interval, a very agitated home supporter appeared in front of us. He started shouting at the PA man.
“Can you make an urgent public safety announcement?” he yelled.
“Yes of course,” came the concerned reply.
“Ok, right! Good! Announce this! I have been a season ticket holder here for 33 years. I have just tried to nip outside to my car to get my jacket…”
“Yes?”
“But the fella in the turnstile booth wouldn’t let me out. He said if I went to my car, he was going to charge me to come back into the stadium even though I have a season ticket!”
“Oh I see.”
“So can you announce this? I am going out to my car. If that eejit tries to stop me or charge me to come back in again, I am going to get in my car and drive it right into the turnstile booth with him inside it!”
“Oh…well…we’ll look into it.”
Fortunately, the supporter quickly calmed down and didn’t try to murder the turnstile operator.
DEVON WHITE…WHITE…WHITE…
My worst personal moment in a press box came was when I was accosted by an angry pensioner during a match at Norwich City.
The fixture versus QPR took place on Saturday 12th March 1994. Norwich led 1-0 at half-time but Rangers roared back to win 4-3 courtesy of goals by Simon Barker, Darren Peacock, Gary Penrice and Devon White.
In those days, I worked for London radio station Capital Gold Sport. All the reporters were encouraged to hysterically shout and scream on air with particular partisan bias towards the London teams.
For example, my most notorious commentary was where I heralded a goal by QPR striker Les Ferdinand in mock ragga deejay fashion:
“FERDINAND IS MASSIVE, FERDINAND IS MASSIVE, BOO-YAKKA, BOO-YAKKA, IN-CRED-IBLE!”
⚽️ | #onthisday in 1995 goals from Les Ferdinand (2) and @IanOllie7 saw QPR come from behind to defeat Wimbledon 3-1 at Selhurst Park.
— On This Day - #QPR (@onthisdayqpr) March 4, 2022
Commentary from @TonyIncenzo#qpr | #afcw pic.twitter.com/zLItQ0l1qR
To this very day, R’s supporters still remind me on Twitter of the BOO-YAKKA commentary. A few people actually think I was being serious at the time which really amuses me all these years later.
Anyway, going back to 1994 at Carrow Road. As the Rangers goals rattled in, I became louder and louder in my commentary.
And when Devon White grabbed the fourth, I almost spontaneously combusted in eulogising the net-bulging moment:
“DEVON WHITE…WHITE…WHITE…YEEEEEEEESSSSSS…GET IN THERE YOU BEAUTY!”
Unfortunately, a group of Norwich City season ticket holders were sitting directly in front of my commentary position. And one old boy – he must have been 80 years old – had enough of me and my Capital Gold rants.
He turned around, grabbed all my matchday notes, ripped them up and threw them in the air whilst yelling venomously into my microphone:
“IT DOESN’T SOUND ANY BETTER IF YOU SHOUT YOU KNOW!”
His outburst went out live on Capital Gold and was heard by two million listeners.
STEPTOE AT STOKE
Football journalists who report on matches nowadays turn up very well prepared with a host of useful statistics.
But that wasn’t always the case. Back in the 1990’s, there was an elderly Midlands-based newspaper reporter who always seemed to cover QPR away fixtures at places like Stoke City, Port Vale and Crewe Alexandra.
He bore a striking resemblance to the old man in that classic comedy Steptoe & Son and spoke in the same irritating voice - albeit with a North Midlands twang.
This guy would bowl into the press room around half an hour before kick-off and loudly yell: “Is there anyone here from Queens Park?”
The first occasion it happened at Stoke, I made the schoolboy error of answering him. Big mistake! ‘Steptoe’ then bombarded me with a host of ridiculous questions that showed his total lack of preparation and knowledge.
“Tell me about your players,” he whined. “Who is this Ray Wilkins? I haven’t heard of him. Is he a youngster?”
I replied in dismay: “No, he has won 84 England caps in a glittering career.”
So Steptoe said: “Has he now? I better write that down then!”
I vowed never to talk to Steptoe again. In fact, every time I saw him enter a press room after that I shouted: “HARR-OOLD” to let the other London journalists know he was coming.
Steptoe did try to collar me once more though.
“Are you from Queens Park?” he asked at another R’s away game.
“No, I am not from Glasgow,” I replied.
And he left me alone from then onwards.
*Credit for photos in this article belongs to @TonyIncenzo*
