Every Saturday afternoon, from Peterhead down to Plymouth, the very best of Britain is on display, huddled against the weather; chanting songs that sometimes inspire, other times crease up even the opposition contingent. 

These five picks don’t only celebrate the funniest and most iconic of the hymns sung by our terraced choirs. They also illustrate the sheer variety. 

We don’t simply sing when we’re winning. 

Battle Cry

For inspirational fare we were spoilt for choice, but we’re going with Leeds United’s Marching On Together.

Why? Because it began life as a B-side of a single, reaching number ten in the charts way back in 1972. And because if you’re present at a packed Elland Road and the North Stand belts out their anthem, it’s a spine-tingling experience.

With Leeds fairly short-priced in the sports betting to drop this season, we can expect the decibel levels to be turned up even higher, as the Yorkshire faithful urge their team to safety. 

Where Dreams Go To Die

For club-specific chants, again several come to mind with You’ll Never Walk Alone an obvious contender.

I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles however just wins out, mainly by virtue of it affording the use of props.

Ahead of each West Ham United home game a festoon of bubbles are released into the air, utterly bemusing foreign coaches unfamiliar to the sight. 

Spiritually connected to the Hammers since the 1920s, it’s also a chant with a wonderfully downbeat sentiment. They fly so high, up to the sky, then like my dreams, they fade and die.   

What’s The Score?

1-0 to the Arsenal is admittedly a controversial choice, one that might make many a worst of list. For a straightforward refrain though, it really does have a lot going for it.

It’s self-deprecating for starters, and not many chants can say that, reclaiming as it does the old jibe from George Graham’s days, that the Gunners were boring in eking out a single-goal-advantage.

And in doing so it pays homage to the club’s famous legacy, reminding rival fans of it at the precise moment Arsenal are winning in the present day. 

That’s pretty meta when you think about it. 

Scarf Ace 

As part of their protest against the unpopular Glazer family, Manchester United supporters took to wearing green and yellow, the colours of the club’s first incarnation Newton Heath FC. 

This was too good an opportunity for Norwich City fans to pass up when they next travelled to Old Trafford, reminding the home fans of who is most known for these hues.

"We’ve come for our scarves," the visitors chirped, to the tune of Sloop John B. “We’re Norwich City, and we’ve come for our scarves.”

Height Of Humour

Resolutely mid-table in League One, Port Vale rarely feature in our best football tips for today. In the great scheme of things, they chug along under the radar. 

Yet Vale fans can be justifiably proud of one of their efforts, when a diminutive referee took to the field to officiate one of their games.

Reworking the staple taunt of ‘You’re supposed to be at home’ – itself a reworking of the staple hymn ‘Bread of Heaven’ – the cry went up, ‘You’re supposed to be a gnome’. 

As chants go, that’s Premier League. 

*Credit for all of the photos in this article belongs to AP Photo*


FIRST PUBLISHED: 27th January 2023

Stephen Tudor is a freelance football writer and sports enthusiast who only knows slightly less about the beautiful game than you do.

A contributor to FourFourTwo and Forbes, he is a Manchester City fan who was taken to Maine Road as a child because his grandad predicted they would one day be good.