GROUNDHOPPING WORLD RECORD
MY most exhausting day as a football fan entailed being part of a wholly unique groundhopping world record.
This occurred on Saturday 20th March 2004. I joined 250 other groundhoppers to watch a record-breaking five football matches at five different football grounds in one day. These were played in the Central Midlands League around the Nottingham and Derby area.
The hectic schedule was: 11:00am at Greenwood Meadows FC, 1:00pm at Pelican FC, 3:00pm at Dunkirk FC, 5:30pm at Sandiacre Town FC and 8:00pm at Graham Street Prims FC.
The first three took place at three entirely separate football grounds which were literally adjacent to each other on Lenton Lane in Nottingham.
Therefore when the final whistle sounded at the opening two games, everyone merely shuffled out of the exit en masse and through the next set of turnstiles just in time for the ensuing match.
Following on, Sandiacre Town was seven miles away and Graham Street Prims was another six miles on into Derby.
It was such a rush though. In fact, we didn’t have time to eat properly all day - only grabbing chocolate bars and bags of crisps on sale at the respective club tea bars.
This groundhop is officially listed in the Guinness Book of Records and we all received individual certificates confirming the world record once the fifth game ended.
However, I remember having a huge row with my girlfriend of that time. Basically she got fed up with the football and wanted to go back to our hotel after the second game. But I told her there were three further matches to go and I simply had to complete the world record.
So she called a taxi and stormed off. Strangely enough, this was the last time I ever saw her. Anyway it didn’t matter because I got my world record certificate.
THE FULL MONTY
The funniest football incident I have encountered since I got married occurred five years ago.
I won’t name the team or the player involved to protect his modesty. And it certainly does need to be protected!
I had driven to a Tuesday night fixture in the Hellenic League and my heavily pregnant wife decided to come along for an evening out. We arrived fifteen minutes prior to kick-off and found a space in the club car park.
My wife said she would stay warm in the car while I bought a programme and obtained the starting line-ups. All seemed well.
But just after I disappeared towards the main entrance, a white van pulled up right next to our car. Out jumped a rather flustered-looking gentleman in his work overalls covered in paint.
PETER ODEMWINGIE
— Tony Incenzo - football reporter (@TonyIncenzo) July 20, 2023
The most bizarre football transfer story I have reported on didn’t actually happen!
31st January 2013
I was sent to QPR as the designated talkSPORT Radio correspondent covering the club’s transfers
Details in my @888sport Blog...https://t.co/awnThdCt58
He had obviously been delayed at a job and was in a frantic hurry to take part in the match. Not realising there was anyone else in the car park, he decided to strip totally naked – yes TOTALLY NAKED – beside his van and then get changed into his football kit before jogging off over to the pitch.
At that point, I returned to the car and my wife was visibly blushing.
“I’ve just had a right eyeful! It was like a scene from the Full Monty!” she gasped.
Nevertheless, my wife and I both saw the funny side of things and we subsequently enjoyed the match. In hindsight, my good lady probably relished events more than I did as she kept a keen eye on one particular player throughout the 90 minutes!
HANDBAGS FLYING
THE worst violence I have ever witnessed inside a football stadium involved my own mother!
It was in 1974/75 at Queens Park Rangers. The club’s leading scorer back then was Republic of Ireland international striker Don Givens.
I vividly recall a QPR home fixture against Coventry City in November that year. Givens had just returned to the R’s after his incredible achievement of scoring all three goals wearing the colours of Ireland for their 3-0 victory over the Soviet Union in a European Championship qualifier.
My family were all season ticket holders in the Ellerslie Road Stand at QPR and my mum – being Irish herself - was an exceptionally big fan of Givens.
Early in the Coventry game, Givens had a good chance to open the scoring for QPR. But he narrowly missed the target.
All of a sudden, a female supporter sitting near us yelled: “Givens! You’re useless! Put a green shirt on him and he’ll score!”
My mum immediately leaned over and smacked the woman right across the face whilst hysterically shouting: “Don’t insult my country!”
The two ladies had to be separated because handbags were literally flying. Then we all settled down to watch the match again.
And of course, Don Givens went on to score in QPR’s 2-0 victory. He wasn’t “useless” at all and finished the season with 21 goals.
My mother died three years ago. The story about Don Givens was read out in her funeral eulogy.
*Credit for photos in this article belongs to @TonyIncenzo*
