I HAD the bizarre case of my girlfriend disappearing into thin air on a football trip to the Manchester area in 1991.
This actually happened during a really historic occasion. It was the first ever live televised match outside of the Football League at Altrincham versus Barnet and I was booked to commentate on the game.
It was being shown by a TV channel called Sportscast which used to broadcast exclusively into pubs around the county. So I travelled up north with my lady friend – who we will call Tina – the night beforehand and we stayed in a nice hotel.
On the day of the game, I had to clamber up a steep ladder to the precarious broadcasting gantry. This was perched on top of the grandstand roof at Altrincham’s Moss Lane ground.
Therefore I said to Tina: “It’s not really very safe for you to climb up there as well. So just take a seat in the stand and watch the match. I’ll be back down after the final whistle.”
At the end of the match, I descended the ladder to meet her. But she wasn’t anywhere to be seen.
I spent four hours looking for Tina – in the football club’s bar, back where I had parked my car and back at our hotel. It was before the advent of mobile phones so I couldn’t contact her.
As a last resort, I decided to go to the local police station and report Tina as a missing person. It created quite a stir and a number of officers crowded around to take down the details.
Here is a video of one of my first television jobs where I was co-commentating on Altrincham v Barnet in 1991 https://t.co/ncxl6oXbZL
— Tony Incenzo talkSPORT (@TonyIncenzo) April 18, 2022
A worried-looking CID detective said: “We haven’t had an abduction round here for years. We’ll call in extra men and carry out house to house enquiries.”
Then the detective added: “Have you tried to phone her at home?”
So I replied: “No, she has a flat in South London. She won’t be there. We’ve been up north since last night. There‘s no point in phoning her.”
“Well I think you should just try her number before we get this major investigation under way.”
“Ok, but it’s a waste of time. She won’t be in London. We came up for the weekend and she can’t get home as I’m driving.”
So he handed me a phone and I called Tina’s flat. It rang four times and then to my total amazement she answered!
I said: “What the hell are you doing?”
And she replied: “Oh, I got bored watching the football so I decided to leave.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well I went outside and there was a man standing there so I told him ‘Look, if you see Tony coming out of the match, then tell him I’ve gone home’.”
“Who was this person?”
“Some guy on the street corner.”
“And you think he was going to stand there for the next few hours waiting for me to come out of the match?”
“Yeah, he said he would pass the message on.”
“So how did you get home?”
“Well I got a bus into the centre of Manchester and then I saw a railway station and there was a train about to leave for London so I got on it. I’ve only just this minute got back to my flat. And by the way Tony, you owe me £37 for the train fare.”
I swiftly left the police station after receiving some very strange looks from the CID detective.
And I decided that it was best not to see Tina again.
*Credit for all of the photos in this article belongs to @TonyIncenzo*
FIRST PUBLISHED: 21st July 2022
