A run-through of every Premier League club’s designated penalty taker at the start of this season revealed a depressing uniformity, with each and every one of them forwards or creative talents.
Has the days when lumbering centre-backs would be entrusted over their peers to find the top corner from twelve yards long gone?
If so, that would be a real shame because, though niche, unlikely penalty takers is a cherished aspect of football.
Sergio Ramos
For much of his time at Real Madrid, and for some of his time with Spain, it fell upon the legendary defender to take spot-kicks, and when we consider some of the stellar greats who were over-looked for such a prestigious duty it boggles the mind.
Modric. Raul. Kaka. Benzema. All had to content themselves with standing on the edge of the box at the Bernabeu hoping for a rebound as a notoriously no-nonsense stopper of chances was handed a golden one on a plate.
Not that Ramos didn’t capitalise, and often. He once scored 20 in a row without missing, ending up with a hefty career tally of 32.
Leighton Baines
At the time of writing, Everton are the only top-flight club still to be awarded a penalty in 2023/24.
They’d probably miss it anyway, such is their misfortune this season that has had them docked 10 points for breaching FFP regulations and subsequently written off in the football odds as relegation fodder.
Back in the day though, when the Toffees high-fived at the sight of a ref pointing to the spot, the opposition may as well have lined up to kick-off.
Hardly a goal-threat from open play, Baines converted 92.8% of his pens in royal blue, a remarkable return for anyone, not least a full-back.
Graham Alexander
The former Preston and Burnley right-back/defensive midfielder was chiefly known for two highly admirable traits across a career that spanned 24 years.
There was his outstanding durability, that saw the injury-averse player reach 1000 games in league and cup football. And there was his unerring accuracy from the spot.
It was an accuracy made all-the-more noteworthy given his technique, with Alexander rarely one for side-footing into the corners.
Instead, he would typically begin his run-up outside of the box, quicken his pace into a mini-sprint, and then unleash a thunder-thwack in the general vicinity of the goal.
It worked too, as 79 successful spot-kicks more than testifies.
Jose Luis Chilavert
Goalkeeping penalty takers are nothing less than a joy and when the Paraguayan was involved that thrill was usually intensified.
That’s because the sometimes controversial, always crazy shot-stopper had a technique that bordered on outright violence, taking a penalty in the same manner he would execute goal-kicks. His run-up would be the same. The way that he blammed the ball with excessive force was the same.
Chilavert knew that the trajectory over 12 yards would be lower than the crossbar and that was enough for him.
In 1999, for Valez Sarsfield, he became the first professional keeper to bag a hat-trick, all from the spot. His third clattered down off the bar, naturally.
He also once punched Tino Asprilla but that’s a story for another day.
Jorginho
Only ten players have scored more Premier League spot-kicks than the Italian and that in itself is impressive.
Where it gets really eyebrow-raising is when we acknowledge two truths, the first concerning Jorginho’s short stint in England that is presently just nudging past the four-and-a-half seasons mark. He isn’t even a regular starter at Arsenal for goodness sake.
And when he does get game-time, the ex-Napoli metronome barely ventures out of the centre-circle.
All the same, when a pen is given at the Emirates, and the 32-year-old is on the pitch, the online betting community promptly back a Gunners win. They’re a goal to the good before he’s even started his trademark stuttered run.
*Credit for all of the photos in this article belongs to Alamy*
