Purely in pantomime terms Bruno Fernandes makes for a great footballing villain.
For starters, who better to boo and hiss at than a Manchester United or Liverpool player, both clubs eliciting extreme responses, whether that be passion from a passionate fan-base, or resentment, and no little hostility, from everyone else.
At a push, Arsenal and their players can also be included in this equation. But only at a push.
When one of these household names in question also put themselves front and centre, figuratively beating their chests, routinely quarrelling with officials, and overtly displaying devotion to the cause, then all the better in bringing out the worst in us.
It is these traits after all that separate, let’s say, a Marcus Rashford and a Fernandes; or Thiago at Anfield from Virgil Van Dijk, because while one routinely goes about their business, being excellent footballers, the other makes a big, dramatic show of who they are, and who they play for.
They put themselves forward as leaders, in doing so becoming symbols of clubs that, let’s be honest, are not exactly popular beyond their faithful fans.
Comparing Van Dijk and Fernandes, however – the two current captains of the respective Reds – takes us to the heart of why the latter is so thoroughly irksome.
Because while it is undoubtedly true that Van Dijk irritates, in the manner in which he preens and poses through contests, playing centre-back as if he’s 007 in boots, he at least shows up and fronts up against anyone and everyone.
Whether Liverpool are playing inferior fare or are in a Champions League final, the Dutchman is a pivotal presence, leading from the back. He’s a General, if you will.
Fernandes also has form for this, putting himself right at the heart of proceedings, scheming and bewitching with the ball at his feet, all while making himself a favourite of the live betting community for his ability to conjure up a moment from nothing.
Out of possession too, he is often a protagonist, heavily involved.
Crucially, though the 28-year-old is selective in his grasping of responsibility, doing so typically when his side are at home to a relegation struggler, or any side really who still hold United in the highest esteem.
Elsewhere, when coming up against equals, the Portuguese attacking midfielder tends to become anonymous and ineffective. As quite as a mouse and about as impactful as a chocolate teapot.
Failing this, he self-combusts, revealing to all the world his heightened petulance and this we saw in evidence at Anfield recently with an extended hissy-fit for the ages.
With Liverpool making a mockery of the football betting by racking up a record-breaking score-line, no-one expected the United contingent to take it well, not should they have.
Yet still, his behaviour at Anfield that Sunday afternoon was nothing but pathetic, kicking out at opponents, feigning injuries – something he is known for above and beyond his peers – and pushing officials.
At a late juncture it was believed that Fernandes requested he be taken off and though that wasn’t the case, that people assumed this says a great deal.
The attacking midfielder wasn’t a leader that day, when his team really needed one to stabilize matters amidst a crisis. He was a problem and a cry-baby.
Since joining the Premier League in 2020, Bruno Fernandes has repeatedly shown himself to be a flat-track bully, one who delights in punching down but throws tantrums when challenged. And no-one likes or admires bullies.
*Credit for all of the photos in this article belongs to AP Photo*
