There are very different metrics that can be used when determining which Premier League clubs are saddled with the worst owners.

The Glazers have hardly covered themselves in glory at Manchester United, while from a human rights perspective Newcastle United’s recent takeover leaves a sour taste in the mouth. 

But if working off the premise of a well-intentioned board, supposedly striving in the best interests of their club, then Everton simply must be a contender.

From the majority shareholder Farhad Moshiri, to the chairman Bill Kenwright, right through to the Toffees’ Marketing and Communications department, these are individuals who are entrusted to make big decisions yet so very often get them so very wrong.

Last November, the board faced a highly significant conundrum, one that could ultimately define the Merseyside giant for years to come.

Naturally therefore, Evertonians braced themselves for the worst, expecting the wrong course of action to be taken, and in hindsight that indeed proved to be the case.

Going into the unique circumstances of a mid-season break, to facilitate a winter World Cup, Everton were a team mired in crisis, situated precariously above the drop-zone

Here was a side devoid of confidence and wholly lacking in creativity or fight, and if manager Frank Lampard warranted some sympathy for having to make do with a mediocre squad, he was also a coach clearly out of his depth, unable to find solutions.

In Everton’s last game before the extended break, they lost meekly to Bournemouth, a performance so sub-par that captain Conor Coady called it ‘shocking’ while fan unrest after the final whistle prompted confrontations with players. 

The board’s choice at this juncture was a very straightforward one. Do they afford Lampard the opportunity to ‘reset’ and – to borrow a term once aired across Stanley Park – ‘go again’? 

Or do they take advantage of the league’s cessation and replace the failing Lampard with a new manager? 

This of course was an entirely subjective call and arguments could be made for keeping the former Chelsea midfielder at the helm, not least the showing of loyalty in gifting him a second chance.

The benefits in making a managerial switch however, far outweighed such considerations.

A new manager would have enjoyed the highly unusual scope of a pre-season scheduled for halfway through a campaign, and with only four Everton players heading to Qatar, that left a vast number of personnel training daily at Finch Farm.

In effect then, a changing of the guard would have represented a fresh start and allowed, let’s say, Sean Dyche six full weeks to implement his ways and means. 

Furthermore, beyond that, an entire transfer window beckoned, a perfect chance for Dyche to take his time and cherry-pick the best players needed to revamp a flagging collective. 

In the event, as we know, option one was chosen, and maybe it’s only in hindsight that we also know it was a huge mistake. Maybe.

Fast forward to early January though and all subjectivity goes out of the window.

Everton have just lost comprehensively at home to Brighton and Lampard has that rabbit-in-the-headlights, haunted look a manager gets when he knows the gig is up. He has nothing more to give and his attempt at a reset has unquestionably failed. 

So what do the board do at this key moment in time, with three weeks remaining for transfer business and Everton short-priced in the sports betting to drop?   

They do nothing. Precisely that. For 19 days and nights they do nothing. 

On January 23rd, following a further two abject defeats, Lampard gets the boot and now surely it’s reasonable to expect the Everton board to take affirmative action in making a quick appointment.

After all, we can only imagine the number of high-level meetings that has taken place in the preceding weeks and months, discussing the future direction of the club, what with an axe dangling over their manager’s head that whole time.

Yet astonishingly, there could conceivably have been no such consultations, given how the board reacted to Lampard’s departure.

They flapped and they flailed. It was as if a successful coach had unexpectedly resigned out of the blue, leaving them surprised.

Finally, in due course, two main candidates were put up for deliberation – Sean Dyche and Marcelo Bielsa – and two more contrasting managers, with more contrasting footballing philosophies would be hard to find.

If anything highlights the paucity of clear thought and absence of vision at Goodison Park it was this polarised shortlist. 

Regardless, on Monday January 30th, Dyche was handed the poisoned chalice but, for reasons yet to be determined, it took well over 24 hours before the announcement was publicly made.

This bled the confirmation over to transfer deadline day and to cap off a farcical and drawn-out affair, the club then failed to bring in a single new player, on loan or otherwise. 

To paraphrase The Who line from Won’t Get Fooled Again, meet the new boss, burdened with the same incompetence above him as the old boss. 

In between these depressing vignettes from a soap opera that just keeps on giving Farhad Moshiri gave an interview, insisting it was the fans who always chose the new managers – as if Evertonians elected Rafa Benitez! – while erroneous claims were made that the board had been threatened ahead of a crunch game against Southampton.

Subsequently, the police acknowledged they had received no such reports. 

Now, you may be reading this and arrive at a conclusion that a succession of errors have evidently been made but isn’t that sometimes the way from a board under duress. Here though is the kicker.

Because all that has transpired at Goodison these past few weeks – a situation that amounts to a circus – is not in any way incongruous.

Rather, it is a continuation of ineptitude that has persistently led to terrible decisions being made, terrible signings procured and attempts made to divide and conquer the fan-base.

It has all been entirely in keeping for one of the worst run clubs in British football.

Presently Everton’s Premier League odds make for depressing reading and a first relegation for several generations feels distinctly possible. That’s because sadly, when the rot is at the top, the only way forward is down.


*Credit for all of the photos in this article belongs to AP Photo*

 

FIRST PUBLISHED: 3rd February 2023

Stephen Tudor is a freelance football writer and sports enthusiast who only knows slightly less about the beautiful game than you do.

A contributor to FourFourTwo and Forbes, he is a Manchester City fan who was taken to Maine Road as a child because his grandad predicted they would one day be good.