Ranking The Greatest Roy Keane Rants

12/04/2023
4 min. read
Roy Keane rants ranked
Ste Tudor
By Stephen Tudor

Roy Keane is by turns a perceptive analyst and an angry old man shouting at clouds and when the latter takes effect we sit back and enjoy the show.

In full-on rant mode there are few sights more engaging, but the former Manchester United midfielder is infinitely more than a comedic turn, all narrowed eyes and cutting tongue. There is often a lot of sense in his outrage. 

5) Make War, Not Peace

In Keane’s playing pomp, Manchester United versus Liverpool was open warfare, a fiery clash featuring players who hated one another and where no quarter was given. 

The tunnel meanwhile was where he perfected his steely glare, or offered Patrick Vieira out for a straightener if the mood took him.

Witnessing the Brazilian contingent from United and Liverpool fist-bump and exchange pleasantries prior to a game in 2019 therefore riled him up no end.

"You’re going to war. Hugging and kissing. Don’t even look at them," he intoned, his eyes full of menace. 

4) The Great Hendo 

When Jordan Henderson was included in England’s Euro 2020 squad despite being only half-fit it sent the snowy-bearded pundit apoplectic.

"I’ve heard lots of people say they want him around the place? For what? Does he do card tricks? Does he have a sing-song? Quizzes in the evenings?"

You simply don’t get gold-dust like that from Lee Dixon. Only dust. 

3) Mour Fixtures? No Problem

It’s fair to assume that Jose Mourinho is not on Roy Keane’s Christmas card list, or vice versa.

It’s also fair to assume that Roy Keane doesn’t have a Christmas card list or indeed celebrates Christmas. Santa after all, is just doing his job.

Regardless, back in 2017, when managing Manchester United, the once special one had dared to complain about a congested fixture schedule for the Reds only to be well and truly bodied by Keano.

Calling the comments ‘nonsense,’ ‘rubbish’ and ‘garbage’ no words were minced in the making of this classic rant.

2) Take A Hard Look At Yourselfie

Exceeding expectations on a weekly basis and doing so with the minimum of fuss, Arsenal are currently short-priced in the football betting to win this season’s Premier League title.

No doubt, Keane would approve of the commitment being shown in order to stay ahead of the pack.

It was a very different story in 2015, when the Gunners squad was accused of taking too many selfies post-match in the dressing room. 

"It’s all about how their bodies look and their hair is," growled the infamously camera-shy multi-millionaire who doesn’t need the money but chooses to appear on television so very often anyway. 

1) Shame On Them

Perhaps Keane’s most famous diatribe was reserved for Harry Maguire and David De Gea following another defeat for his former club a couple of years deep into Ole Gunner Solskjaer’s time in charge. 

The England captain was ‘shocking’ according to football’s very own Victor Meldew, while De Gea really got the brunt of his ire. 

"I am sick to death of this goalkeeper. I’d be fighting him at half-time. I would be swinging punches at that guy."

Our sports betting experts tell us that if you bet one thousand pounds on the 51-year-old emerging victorious from that scrap you would win twenty pence.

*Credit for all of the photos in this article belongs to AP Photo*

 

About the Author See all Stephen Tudor Articles
Stephen Tudor
Ste Tudor

Stephen Tudor is a freelance football writer and sports enthusiast who only knows slightly less about the beautiful game than you do.

A contributor to FourFourTwo and Forbes, he is a Manchester City fan who was taken to Maine Road as a child because his grandad predicted they would one day be good.